Saturday, February 2, 2019

The Inevitable New Year's Post - 2019 Edition (only a month late!)

Happy New Year! I know, I know, I'm a little late... but better late than never, I hope 😊 

Those of you who've been journeying with me for awhile may remember that I have always chosen a meaningful word to define the year to come - with varying degrees of success. My memory is the guilty party in this instance; when I started looking back over the years, I couldn't even remember last year's word, let alone from years gone by! This is why I write things down.

As I reviewed my previous posts, it was fascinating to discover the words I'd chosen and recall the highs and lows of each particular year. Starting from last year and going back, my last five words have been joy, impossible, all, overcomer and thanks. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that so far, this practice has yielded very little fruit. So why continue?

Well, I guess I'm a hopeful person by nature. I keep trying in the hopes that things will be different this year. But you know the definition of insanity, right? Well, instead of doing the same thing and anticipating different results, I'm going to try something new. A little thing, really, but I'm believing that it will make all the difference. I'm writing it down. But not just in this one blog post where I'll never see it again until next year. It's on my alarm clock, in my closet, on my mirror, on my whiteboard, on my computer, on my phone...

Because I really want to remember it this year. Already, this word has helped bring about some major breakthroughs in 2019. A little backstory...

For the past two and a half years, I've been dealing with some trauma from past abuse. Abuse that happened around twenty two years ago, but that I was only recently able to recognize and name. This has caused my marriage to suffer. I had no idea how to move past the trauma. I had prayed, written, seen a counsellor, started attending Celebrate Recovery... it seemed as though nothing was making a difference.

Fast-forward to mid-January. I had made arrangements to attend a discipleship conference in Calgary. I was really looking forward to seeing so many people I love and going deeper with God, while at the same time hoping that I could just leave this issue at home and not have to deal with it there.

I really should have known better 😊 Through a series of very fortunate events (for lack of a better word), I was finally enabled to let go of the fear that was holding me back and embrace all the good God has for me going forward.

It was only after I'd been back home for a few days and had some time to process everything that had happened that my word of the year occurred to me. Fearless. I can't wait to see what a difference it makes in my year!

And so, a very happy New Year, dear Friends - may it be your best year yet, full of peace and grace and hope and joy! May it also be a year of no fear

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