What Do You Want?

It's the most...wonderful tiiiiiiime... of the year! Kiddos here in Ontario head back to their hallowed halls of learning tomorrow! Can I get a hallelujah?! 

My guys are beyond excited - which is so nice to see. A year ago, we had just arrived in ON, the boys knew practically no one, had seen their new school exactly once, and had no idea what to expect. Excited? A bit. More like nervous, anxious, a tad freaked out... There's such comfort in the familiar. 

I'm heading into some unfamiliar territory of my own in the next week or so. In addition to my full-time job, I'll be pursuing a three-year Certificate in Spiritual Formation and Leadership from Renovare Institute. 

It's funny how one thing leads to another and another, making connections you'd never anticipated and taking you places you didn't even know existed, awaking within you desires you hadn't allowed yourself to examine closely and insisting you pay attention. It's so cool to look back and see God's guidance and intervention!

I've recently discovered in my secret soul a yearning for some structure in my spiritual life, a longing to go deeper with God and people. It started not long after I started working full-time. Previously, I'd had hours and hours every day in which to read, write, reflect, walk, worship and pray. It was a shock to my spiritual system to suddenly have all that taken away. 

I kind of pushed those feelings to the side for awhile; I just didn't have the time or energy to deal with them as I adjusted to being out of the house for nine hours each day. But they wouldn't stay there, neatly tucked away. As they clamoured for attention, I started seeking ways to nourish my spirit in the little time I could cull out of the "cook, clean, collapse" routine at the end of my days. 

Facebook to the rescue! I ate up the little bite-sized nuggets of wisdom and encouragement offered in status updates of people who were on the same path. One thing led to another, which eventually led me to a singer/songwriter/prophet, an old college friend and Renovare. 

And all that has led me to this observation/question:

You need to worship well. Because you are what you love.

And you worship what you love.
And you might not love what you think.
Which raises an important question. Let's dare to ask it.
What do you want?"

James K. A. Smith

I want depth. I want structure. I want community. I want intimacy. I want authentic connections. I want wisdom. I want purpose. I want to be transformed. I want to be used. I want more. 

What do you want?