Thank you so much to those who reached out and admitted to a similar aversion to accountability - it's such a comfort to know I'm not alone in this. One friend observed how the isolation of the pandemic hadn't bothered them much; less interaction meant less expectations and responsibilities. (ie. accountability!) I can totally relate! What a relief it's been to be "stuck" at home 😏
However, now that I'm armed with the knowledge that accountability is THE success factor, I feel a responsibility to my idea (and the people it will potentially help) to seek out those who will both cheer me on and not let me off the hook when things get challenging.
The one question I've been continually dwelling on for the duration of the pandemic has been, "What do I want my life to look like?" The question seemed to pop up everywhere I looked. It was something I'd never dared to really examine before. My people-pleasing, codependent, approval-addicted self was usually most concerned with what other people wanted my life to look like.
I've experienced a lot of healing in the past few years, for which I'm extremely grateful. As I continue this journey of self-discovery, I find I'm finally at a place where I can (mostly) fearlessly declare what constitutes a beautiful life for me.
In a word, I want peace. And love. And time. And space. And options. And freedom.
I want time for quiet, study, reflection, contemplation, walking, reading, writing, making music. I want to love, to serve, to make a difference. I want to leave this world a little better than I found it. I want to make a peaceful, joyful, life-giving home for my family and friends. I want to give generously and gladly of my time, my talents and my treasure.
After much careful prayer, thought, discerning and discussion, I'm ready to take a step in the direction of my dreams.
I've been an educator with a company called Norwex for the last five years, on a very casual, on-and-off basis. In a nutshell: Norwex is a direct sales company whose mission is to improve quality of life by reducing harmful chemicals in our homes, creating safe and effective cleaning and self-care products. ( Here's a short "Why Norwex" video if you're curious 😊)
I joined as a desperate mother of young kids with undiagnosed bipolar disorder who couldn't keep a job but badly needed to produce some income. In addition to a solid mission and great products, the Norwex opportunity attracted me because I could be home with my boys and work around my other responsibilities. I found I was really good at some parts of the business, but really awful at others. I would do quite well for a bit, doing parties and making some money, but I ran screaming from the idea of following up with my customers, lest I annoy them and have them think poorly of me. (That's the people-pleasing, codependent, approval addiction part...) Then business would die down and I'd give up. Until the next time I was in a tight spot. And the cycle would repeat.
I knew my motives were not pure. Sure, I wanted to help people, but it was mostly about the flexibility and the money. That's why I couldn't succeed long-term - my priorities were off. I was selfish and inconsistent. (And sick and tired and stressed and worried and fearful...)
I'm seeing things so differently now. I want to use this business to make a difference in the world. A real difference. I want it to start with love. I want everything I do to be done in love. I want love to overflow - love for God, for people, for creation, for myself.
I believe in this mission. To provide people with options to take better care of their health and the health of the planet, and to do so through authentic relationships rather than pushy, impersonal sales, lines up with my core values. I really do believe that every home needs Norwex. I want to be a part of making that happen to help improve people's quality of life.
But there's more. I want to get these life-changing, health-saving, eco-conscious products into the hands of people who can't afford them. I plan to donate packages with our top five products to low-income families for every $3000 in sales, and seek to open a door to ongoing relationship and support.
I attended Norwex's National Conference last weekend (online, of course). And I'm so glad I did! I heard story after inspirational story of how the Norwex business opportunity had changed countless lives. I caught a vision of how coming alongside women in difficult circumstances, mentoring them, supporting them and helping them succeed could turn everything around and give them a fighting chance to live the life they dream of. It thrills my soul to think of helping to change someone's life!
I was looking so hard for the answer to the life of my dreams, when it was right in front of me this whole time. I'm so excited to begin, but there's this relentless, piercing little voice that keeps whispering to my heart, "What if you haven't changed enough? What if you haven't got what it takes? What if this isn't what you're supposed to do next? What if people challenge you? What if you let your customers down? Or your team? Or your family? What if you can't do it? What if you fail again?"
Friends, that's where you come in. I need people in my corner to encourage and to hold me accountable as I seek to accomplish my goals. I will be reaching out to some individuals in the next few days to find accountability partners to join me on this journey, but if you feel so led, please don't hesitate to reach out to me. We are so much better together!
Thanks for hearing me out. The mere act of writing down my idea, knowing that you would read it, has both terrified and energized me. I once heard someone say that if your goals don't scare you a little, they're not big enough. I think we're there.